I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my being single is dangerous.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Randomize
