everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
