ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
