Having a random hookup so left but love u
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
