i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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