on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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