I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
