69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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