Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
