just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
