if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
