I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
