Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
