lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
