he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
