i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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