Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
