i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
