I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
