I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
