She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
