i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
