And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
