my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
