ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
