I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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