Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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