Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite