is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together