Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart