and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
God I need to hump something, right now.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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