I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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