i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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