The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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