why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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