her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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