i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize