So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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