Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize