guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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