i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
