you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
