So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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