Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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