I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
