All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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