I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
