It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
