You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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