I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
