keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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