Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm home, then i'll come over
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head