DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?