Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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