I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
