Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
