is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
