he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize