We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
