This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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