i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
