He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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