your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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