I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
