Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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