i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize