Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
