what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
