ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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